And then Mr. Rogers took Jermaine inside and showed him "the worm"

Vamp, Camp, and a Whole Lot of Tramp

Or, "If at first you don't succeed in pimping your daughter to the King, then try, try again with the other one." That's the Showtime drama The Tudors for you. Starring Jonathan Rhys Meyers, who is the acting profession's personification of petulance, playing Henry VIII, history's personification of capriciousness, it's not bad, actually. Court life back then was alot of humping and killing, and The Tudors brings plenty of that. It stays pretty close to history, though it does make out Henry to be a bit of a Philistine, when by all accounts he was very learned and fluent in a number of languages--for example, during one episode the Dauphin throws a bunch of French at him and he acts like he doesn't understand.

I am biased, though, because I am fascinated by this time period in English history. From Henry V and the start of the Plantangenet dyanasty until Henry VIII and the beginning of the Tudor dynasty, the family tree of British royalty is a big circle. The War of the Roses, Shakespeare's histories, all that sort of thing make it even more compelling. I've only watched a few episodes, but so far I dig it.

Lost for Geeks

If there are any Lost geeks left out there, and I know there are (it actually got good again over the past few months), Entertainment Weekly has an interesting article up about the philosophy of the show. This is a hell of an article, starting with the fact that a curious number of characters on the show are named after philosophers and then mushrooming into some kind of very hopeful, all-encompassing speculation on the overall philosophical message/theme/somethingorother of the show.

Here's a little sample:

Here's the Big Idea — the curious unifying link — that we've failed to recognize in our narrow application of these philosophers: with the exception of Bakunin, the philosophers of Lost all lived during the Age of Enlightenment, a movement that flowed out of the Age of Reason in the 17th Century. (See: René Descartes, ''I think, therefore I am.'') The Enlightenment belief was that the human mind alone could fathom the mysteries of the world and tame its unruly nature with logic and ideas. It was the Enlightenment that provided the ideological spark for a series of scientific, political, and economic revolutions that would reshape the world and bring forth the utopian-obsessed Modern age. The founding fathers of the United States, for example, were rooted in the ideas of what commentators refer to as ''The Enlightenment Project.'' But perhaps more pertinent to Lost is this: The Enlightenment neutered God. To be clear, many Enlightenment thinkers actually believed in the Big Guy. Nonetheless, their exultation of reason and empiricism precipitated the gradual expunging of religion, mysticism, and magic from any foundational understanding of existence. Thanks to the Enlightenment, God was rendered hazy and driven underground — you know, kinda like a certain crankypants smoke monster that dwells in the bowels of the Island. Coincidence?

Whew. What's a headful of stuff. Check out more here.

You've gotta love Entertainment Weekly for their ability to put this article right next to the one titled "Kirk's Ten Favorite Gilmore Girls Episodes."

The Greatest Ad of All Time

This is perhaps even better than the picture of the woman professional golfer kissing that crystal trophy. Go ahead, Google it.

WITH LEATHER has the whole story.

Barrelhouse through the Dance Hall

This Sunday at 7 pm, the Barrelhouse road show pulls in to the Marquise Dance Hall in Williamsburg, Brooklyn. Join Jennifer L. Knox, Catie Rosemurgy, and Gary J. Whitehead as we celebrate the release of Barrelhouse Issue 4. The Marquise Dance Hall Poetry Series presents poets from a different engaging/out-there/daring/amazing literary journal or press every month, and this month they chose us!

Marquise Dance Hall
291 Grand Street
Williamsburg
Brooklyn, NY 11211
www.marquisedancehall.com

Readers

Jennifer L. Knox (Barrelhouse Issue 4) was born and raised in Lancaster, California, where absolutely anything can be made into a bong. Her work is featured in Best American Poetry 2006, and her book of poems, A Gringo Like Me, is available from Soft Skull Press.

Catie Rosemurgy (Barrelhouse Issue 3) is originally from the Upper Peninsula of Michigan where she still spends time each year. She currently lives in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania and teaches creative writing at The College of New Jersey. Her poetry collection, My Favorite Apocalypse, was published by Graywolf Press. She is the recipient of a Rona Jaffe Award for Emerging Female Writers and a fellowship from the National Endowment for the Arts.

Gary J. Whitehead (Barrelhouse Issue 4) is the author of The Velocity of Dust, as well as three chapbooks of poetry. His writing awards include a New York Foundation for the Arts grant in poetry, the Pearl Hogrefe Fellowship at Iowa State Uni­versity, and the PEN Northwest Margery Davis Boyden Wilderness Writing Residency Award. He teaches high school English at Tenafly High School and lives in New York.

Scrantonicity

Perhaps no literary magazine in the entire world is as plugged into the Scranton Pennsylvania scene as Barrelhouse. That's why I think it's perfectly appropriate to plug this -- Kevin and Angela from The Office get "the full Scranton Experience."

Perhaps our Scranton ex-pats can fill us in on what exactly that might entail. I know that, where I grew up, the Full Experience would include a pack of Marlboro Reds, a few shots of Wild Turkey, about 18 Busch Lights, preferably all consumed while listening to Def Leppard in the middle of a cornfield. Oh, and gravy. Lots and lots of gravy.

Millon Writer's Award

StorySouth has just announced the notable stories for this year's Million Writer's Award.

Although there's no Barrelhouse representation (Blake Butler, you got screwed, man, as did, of course, all the other fabulous Barrelhouse online authors), the MW has been very, very good to Barrelhouse in the past, and we suggest you head on over there and take a look at the stories that did make the notable list this year. It is, as always, a compendium of all that is kickass about online publishing, including the fact that, duh, it's free.

While you're there, make sure you check out this stuff from Barrelhouse contributors:

• The Raincheck by Matt Bell
  
  
• La Difficult D'etre, by Richard Grayson
  

Congratulations to Matt and Richard, and also thanks to StorySouth, as always, for recognizing online fiction.

Saturday May 5: Barrelhouse All Day Long

Usually only our in-home caregivers, entourages, hangers-on, and the paparrazi know what it's really like to spend an entire day in the warm embrace of our Barrelhousey goodness, but this Saturday we've got a unique opportunity to spend ALL DAY -- yes, all day long, just about, with Barrelhouse.

What an opportunity, right? You might be saying, I haven't heard of a similar deal since that late 80s MTV holiday contest in which Quiet Riot played a live concert at some poor bastard's mother's house on Christmas morning. Well, it'll be kind of like that, but with more talking about writing and less Aquanet and cocaine. Most likely.

Here's the scooop:

11:00 to 7ish, Conversations and Connections Writer's Conference, Bethesda, Maryland

Writers -- this is a damn good deal. For $35 you get an all day conference, featuring Fiona McCrae of Graywolf Press as the keynote, Amy Holman telling you how to place your fiction and where, and participation from about 25 literary magazines. You wont find this much lit mag brainpower in any place outside of the annual AWP meeting, and thats not until January. Plus, you get a subscription to a literary magazine of your choice. We just loaded the whole schedule onto the conference site. If you're skeptical, take a look at the participants -- they're the real deal. Click here for more information or to register today.

8:00 to 10:00, The Big Hunt, Washington DC

Help us celebrate our latest issue, and blow off steam from a long day of conferencing. Well have readings from our new issue -- Paul Maliszewski will be reading fiction, Valzhyna Mort poetry -- as well as booze, barrelhouse, and...and...wait for it...music from none other than Edie Sedgwick.

Who is Edie? Edie is Justin Moyer, formerly of influential bands El Guapo and Supersystem who, well, well let him or her do the honors: "Edie Sedgwick is the transgendered reincarnation of a vacuous Warhol Superstar who died of a barbiturate overdose in 1971. Edie was reborn at the dawn of the New Millenium to save the world by singing about celebrities."

Readings will start around 8:30. It'll run you a big five bucks at the door, and all proceeds go toward printing costs. You dont want to miss this. Everybody is invited! The Big Hunt is located at 1345 Conn Ave in downtown DC, south of Dupont Circle (on metro, take the Red line to Dupont Circle south exit).

See you Saturday! Bring the Aquanet, we'll bring the power chords and the, um, well, we'll bring the books.