8.17.2005

Waiting for Diamond Dave

Lee Roth, that is. Now that I've hipped you to the Abe Vigoda Status Firefox Extension, here's another sparkly virtual goodie that will allow you to keep track of your favorite 70s/80s heavy metal hair gods.

Van Halen Reunion Torch!That's right -- finally, you can show your support for David Lee Roth as you patiently wait for Eddie and Alex (and the other cat who is not named Van Halen and who really likes Jack Daniels) to come to their senses and reunite with their oldest, bestest frontman. But how can I, a lowly internet citizen, support the high-flying, leg-kicking, midget-palling-around-with, teacher fantasizing, carnival barking, just a gigalo-ing, hair extending David Lee Roth, you might ask? By flying the David Lee Roth Army torch, pictured at right. When the band has reunited, properly, with our boy Lee Roth at the helm, this baby will proudly roar with virtual digital fire, an inferno of animated gif and rock and roll intensity that only Lee Roth could deliver.

Can the Bea Arthur Army, led by Commander Aaron Pease, be far behind?

6 comments:

joe said...

I wonder if there is a way to statistically figure out what age you had to be when Sammy Hagar joined Van Halen in order to not find his offerings offensive. A clear demarcation has to exist because no one I know over the age of 33 can stomach any post-1984 albums.

I vaguely remember the first go round of Diamond Dave, Jump, Hot for Teacher, etc, but as I was only 6 in 1984, I can’t claim to have grown up with his incarnation of VH. However, I was 13 when For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge came out, just the right age to relish head banging rock and find the acronymic possibilities of the album’s title totally awesome. So, while I love Dave and his spandex wearing, kung-fu kicking ways, I’ve gotta say I’m a Sammy man all the way.

Please don’t hit me, Dave H.

aaron said...

Joe, I understand your point completely. Due to my ultra-religious upbringing, I was not exposed to Van Halen ca. Diamond Dave besides a few songs on 1984 that you had to be living under a rock not to hear (we lived right next to that rock). But I also found the 5150 songs I heard to be really good, too. And by my senior year in high school we had become secularized enough that I had in my possession For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge. Looking back, I still think 5150 is a good album, but For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge is to me unremarkable in alot of ways, even despite the "drill guitar" antics of Eddie V.H.

aaron said...

BTW, Dave, you are too kind in ascribing to me "Commander" status in the Bea Arthur army. Despite my close association with this group since 1988, I am still a rather lowly "Junior Lapper."

Kistulentz said...

In the words of Lieutenant Niedermayer, all of you Van HAGAR fans are worthless and weak. There is only one Van Halen, and it ended with 1984.

Ended. As in done, over.

To me, each subsequent record has gotten worse--each one marked by whatever toy Eddie was fascinated by that month in the studio. From that damn electric drill sound, to the new digital piano he got for the next record, to the point where frankly I don't listen or even care all that much. Van Hagar could be playing across the street for free and I wouldn't go.

If there is no Dave and no Ted Templeman behind the boards, it's not Van Halen.

And if you want to know what Sammy Hagar sounds like when he rocks, go get the first Montrose record, incidentally also produced by Ted Templeman. "Bad Motor Scooter" is the way to go. Best thing Sammy ever did.

Just to make TMC feel young, I will tell you that I saw the very first show of the David Lee Roth "Eat 'Em and Smile" tour--and I'd put that record up against anything VH did without Dave.

But I'd put them all in a room and explain to both Dave and Eddie that they suffer from the same problem (no, not addiction, although how many times do you have to fall down drunk in order to need a hip replacement?) The problem these two guys have is that they never allow anyone around them to just say, "You know, Dave or Eddie, I just don't think that is a very good idea."

TMC said...

ah, steve, the fact that this whole discussion even exists makes me feel young.

joe said...

I bet people in the '70s had the same problem with Genesis's Gabriel to Collins transition.