Arrested Development Gets the Ax...And I Blame YOU, America

American people, you are killing me. What the fuck do you want, exactly?

First, you go all highbrow on me and neglect to embrace the brilliant alcoholic idiotic train that was Taradise.

Now you get all predictably attention-deficit, low-IQ-and-proud-of-it and completely ignore Arrested Development.

It is not looking good for one of the best shows on TV.

I blame you, America. It's not me. It's you. H.L. Mencken was right about you people.


I hope you're happy, America, you vast wasteland of people who are neither entertainingly stupid nor smart-enough. From California to the New York Island, from the redwood forest to the gulf stream waters, this land is made for the safely stupid, the purposefully comfortably numb, the fans of Yes Dear.

So keep watching According to Jim, America. Enjoy the hell out of The War at Home. Keep thinking Desperate Housewives is intelligent, cutting-edge drama. I hope you like CSI: Richmond. Slurp away at your "cold tasting" beer while you ride another fat man, skinny wife, precocious wisecracking child brain-dead sitcom into the syndication sunset. Say hi to Ryan Seacrest and Ashlee Simpson for me, America.

On second thought, say fuck you to both of those no talent ass-clowns.

You fucking idiots.

And that goes double for Fox.



TMC said...

Fat man, skinny wife, precocious child, eh?

I like the sound of that.

Maybe we could have Louie Anderson marry Kate Moss, and have that kid from Jerry Maguire, assuming he hasn't grown since the mid-90s. That sounds like a surefire hit.

Mike said...

I know Arrested Development is funny, because the few times I've seen it I've laughed. And yet I don't watch it either, so I guess I'm at fault.

Maybe it's a little too irony-laced for most people? Or the humor is a little too random? I don't know, just a guess. Since people seem to enjoy the obvious sitcomish humor of shows like Two and Half Men.

Sam said...

"She's the most amazing person I've ever seen on TV in my life," gushed one teenage girl, who was near tears. "I live for her. I'd do anything to talk to her."

When the NY Times prints this (and other equally gushing quotes from adults and teens) about no-discernible-talent-yet-is-now-a published-novelist Nicole Richie there is no reason to ever believe a show as fantastic as Arrested Development could survive.

joe said...

Personally, I'm hoping for a family guy kind of thing where in a better network picks up the reruns, plays then nonstop for three years and people start to get the message.

I thought the same thing would happen with Sports Night. It didn't.

Snake said...

On the plus side, we're getting more episodes of "Freddie," starring Freddie Prince Jr. and the Vanilla Ice-wannabe from 90210.

TMC said...

One other thing:

I think that some people actually intentionally don't watch Arrested Development in a backlash against everybody always telling them to watch it. In fact, I ,i know that's why I didn't watch it for the first season.

Of course, there's a natural paradox there-- if advertising it too much is causing people to not watch it, you can't encourage people to watch it by not advertising.

So, in the end, I don't know what this means. But there you have it. For a while, at least, i was part of the problem, and it was actually mostly to spite people like Dave who so desperately wanted me to watch it. I can' t help being a jerk... it's in my blood.

kylos said...

i cant even talk about this show getting canceled without tearing up. so maybe let's let david cross talk for me...