4.20.2006

If "My Humps" Wasn't Evidence Enough

...that the Black Eyed Peas are absolutely the worst hip hop group of all time, and I'm including Funky Bunches and Da Bands and any other P. Diddy contraptions in this list, this should clear it up: they're touring with the Pussycat Dolls.

Now, the Pussycat Dolls are not a band. They are a clever marketing ploy. Actually, the Pussycat Dolls to begin with weren't very original: just an overly choreographed PG-13 rated burlesque show, pretty much what you'd see if you concentrated on the young bodies gyrating behind Britney Spears or Janet Jackson or any other pop confection. But the Pussycat Dolls as a pop group are kind of like if there was a pop group called "Hooters" or "Applebees."

I'm a white guy from Pennsylvania, so my hip hop cred is not so strong, but I do know that touring with "Hooters" or "Applebees" is, well, just about as real as being a white guy from Pennsylvania.

And while we're clearing up Black Eyed Peas related issues, I'd like to say that Fergie is what we call "camera angle hot." Sometimes, pretty hot. Sometimes, suspiciously like a cabbage patch doll. Where she falls on the scale generally depends on the visibility of the abs.

And that's my weekly post about what's wrong with music.

2 comments:

Mike said...

I admit to liking the Black Eyed Peas for a while. I mean, some of their songs are pretty damn catchy. But "My Humps" is pretty awful. And their shtick has worn out its welcome with me.

TMC said...

I think maybe you guys just don't get the symbolism in "My Humps." See, "my humps" refers to Fergie's buttocks and breasts. Likewise with "my lovely lady lumps."

Get it now? It's about sex.