Deeply Stupid Thoughts

Italian is salad dressing for beginners.

Ties are like snowflakes, no two are the same.

Pain is temporary, pride is fughettaboutit.

If only my grandfather lingered as long as his farts, he might still be alive today.

Who filters the filters?

If soccer explains the world, now I know why I don't score very often.

Shouldn't it be "Mutually Ensured Destruction"?

When life gives you lemons, piss in a bucket and call it lemonade.