Dear Graduates...You're Gonna Eat Lightning and You're Gonna Crap Thunder

ESPN's Page 2 has assembled the best ever graduation speech, a hodgepodge of quotations from sports movies. A sample:

I have only come up with two hard incontrovertible facts: There is a God, and I'm not Him. There's a force in the universe that makes things happen. All you have to do is get in touch with it. Stop thinking. Let things happen and you're gonna eat lightning and you're gonna crap thunder. You're gonna become a very dangerous person. Eye of the tiger. Now that's class.
Rocky Balboa, Norman Dale (Hoosiers), Ty Webb (Caddyshack), and Tony D'Amato (Any Given Sunday)? That's a hell of a lot better than the speaker at my graduation.

Thanks to PopCandy, which is really the best pop blog out there, for the link.


TMC said...

The speaker at my graduation (in '04) was some asshole who was somehow involved with the Bush adminstration, and he spent the whole time trying to recruit us to join the army and fight his damn war.

Chad Simpson said...

Hey, Barrelhouse.

This may not be the best way of asking, but I figure it's worth a shot.

Did the deadline for the Dive Bar stories change or has it already passed?

I ask because I noticed your homepage still has the notice, and the NewPages blog ran the same thing a couple days ago.

And just so part of this comment is on-topic: I would love to hear that graduation speech.

Mike said...

Hey Chad,

We're still reading for the Dive Bar stuff. You can submit via our online submissions manager; just select "dive bar" when it asks for the genre.