5.16.2008

Jill causin' trouble...

For reasons not entirely pertinent, I spent the evening thinking about the RUSH song "The Trees" and I came to the conclusion that it's just about the gayest song ever.  And by gay I don't mean homosexual, which would likely mean it was a good song.  No, no.  The gay whereof I speak is that 4th grade playground use of the word gay, which roughly translates into "fucking dumb."  


Who gives a rat's ass if the maples demand equal rights?  Is that some sort of Canadian dig against the good ole USA?  And why should the maples have equal rights in any case?  Everyone knows that birches are where it's at, bitches.  Even Bobbie Frost knew that much.

So I'm wondering.  What other dumb-ass dumb songs can we mock?  (And oh yes, we shall mock them and mock them in the ass, I tell you!)  

4 comments:

JP said...

I assume you mean dumb sings OTHER than "Proud to be an American?"

Hmmm.

Well, there's We are the World. That's gay in a philanthropic sort of way.

(I'm not even going to into all the ways we can explain what a "philanthropically gay" action or person looks like!)

There's that "Open the door get on the floor, everbody walk the dinosaur" song. But it sure is catchy.

I think maybe anything by Color Me Badd qualifies, though, don't you?

Neil Ellis Orts said...

sweets, this is a big ol' crowded barrel of fish at an NRA meeting.

currently, a song that's been playing on the store's satellite radio station is this song called "Lemonade." I had to google it, it annoys me so much. Chris Rice is the "artist." It is relentlessly happy, sappy, and full of easy and yet incomplete metaphors. (well, the latter is arguable--it just seems like he's referencing the "life gave me lemons so I made lemonade" thing, but instead he just goes straight for "life gave me lemonade." which is also really depressing for those with a bushel of lemons to squeeze.)

But really, of the writing of really bad songs, there is no end.

Mike said...

I think "Playing With The Boys," from Top Gun, is pretty gay, both in the 4th-grade pejorative sense and in the homosexual sense.

Actually that whole damn movie is pretty homoerotic. I find it hard to believe the writers/directors/editors/actors didn't do this on purpose.

jill alexander essbaum said...

I _so_ prefer the Iron Eagle franchise to the Top Gun shit. I mean is there no end to Jason Gedrick's hotness? And good ole Lou Gosset as "Chappy?"

Plus now that I've been reminded Tasty-Taste from Fear of A Black Hat (aka Lamar Latrelle from Revenge of the Nerds) is in Iron Eagle, I'm sold.

Plus, they had that Queen song as their theme song. I guess that's kinda gay too.