"Newlyweds" for the comically disaffected high school set

Somewhere, an MTV producer is salivating over the announcement that "punk" singer Avril Lavigne is engaged to "punk" band Sum-41's Deryck Whibley.

Their inevitable reality show will be just like Nick and Jessica's, only Avril and Deryck will of course claim to be doing the show ironically. They'll occasionally snarl at the camera, and they'll decorate their McMansion in "punk" furnishings from Urban Outfitters. Maybe they'll replace the "s" in Newlyweds with a "z."

Of course it should go without saying that Avril Lavigne embodies the spirit of punk music about as much as McDonald's embodies the spirit of healthy eating. If that focus group had gone in a different direction, Lavigne would be a flatter-chested Britney Spears.

Meanwhile, every time either one of these clowns uses the word "punk" in a sentence, my gag reflex kicks in, Sid Vicious rolls over in his grave, and Baby Jesus cries.


aaron said...

Aren't they both Canadian? Don't get me wrong, I love Canadians, and especially the Canadian National anthem...mmmm...the Canadian National Anthem...(clears throat)

O...Can-a-da...Our home and native land......True...patri't...love... inallthysonscom-mand....Wi-ith glowing hearts we-ee see thee rise...The True North stro-ong a-and freeeee!...Fro-om far and wide, O-oh Can-a-da, we stand on gua-ard for-or theeeeeeeeeeeeee!! God...keep...our land, glo-ri-ous and freeeeeeee! Ooooh Can-a-da, we stand on guard forrr theeeeee, OOOOHHHHHH Can-a-da, we stand on guardddddddddd forrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!

Gives me the chills every time...kind of like those Molson Golden radio commercials, "mine bro-ham", but different...In any case, not to be too hard on Canada, because I truly love hockey, but "Canadian" is to "punk" as "Ryan Seacrest" is to "not gay, even if he is, strictly speaking, not gay" Right?

Mike said...

Last semester, I had my students debate silly topics* (like Frosted Flakes vs. Lucky Charms, or Blind Date vs. Elimidate) to help them learn rhetorical skills. No one wanted to take the Canada side in the USA v. Canada contest. Until I pointed out that Canada has decriminalized marijuana, and you can drink there when you're 19. All of a sudden half the class was ready to denounce their U.S. citizenship.

*In the interest of full disclosure, I should admit that this silly debate idea was Tom's, and I stole it from him.

TMC said...

Thanks for citing the sources for your stolen teaching ideas, mike. Although, if you continue to emulate other teachers, I may not be the best example, as you konw. If you start showing up drunk to every wednesday morning class and alternately rambling to your students about the Eagles or insulting them for the way they dress, then I might have to demand royalties for your theft of my pedagogy.