Rock Like a Hurricane: How to Succeed in Hair Metal

Fully twenty years too late, here is some sage advice for those of you who are thinking about starting a hair metal band:

  • Hair Metal Confidential: Provides a guide to "the secrets and subtleties of hair metal" and includes everything from hair color ("natural is unacceptable") to "the difficult fourth album."

  • How to Be An 80s Hair Metal Star: Essential information for the potential frontman, including the following: "When preening for the cameras be sure to grab a bottle of Jack Daniel's or cheap Vodka. Make sure at least one photo is of you drinking it straight from the bottle, or better yet, having it poured over your head by another band mate."

  • Big Hair Rules: An appreciation. "Big hair is pretty. It's even prettier when you have four or five guys with big hair who get together and try and woo the ladies with some flashy rock and roll licks and tease the hell out of their hair to get them. Slap on a little mascara, lip gloss and ta-da! Glam."

  • A Love Affair with Hair Metal: From PopMatters, a great essay on why none of us should be embarrassed that, even though we know it was all so very, very stupid, we still kind of like hair metal. And not in that kitschy, Black Sabbath t-shirt from Urban Outfitters kind of way, either.

No comments: