8.05.2005

Swayze Survey Results: Vote or Die

The Barrelhouse Survey has been up for about a week and half now and we’ve had a good number of responses. The survey is most important to us as a tool in our ongoing investigation into the canon of Patrick Swayze. The results have been suprising, and somewhat disturbing.

As you can see in this chart, Donnie Darko: The Director’s Cut is in the lead at 21%. This is unsettling in that the movie, while great in its own right, is not a Patrick Swayze vehicle. Meanwhile brilliant performances such as hip-shaking, baby-keeping-out-of-cornering Swayze in Dirty Dancing and x-treme sporting, bank-robbing, Ronald-Reagan-mask-wearing Swayze in Point Break go underappreciated. I’m personally disappointed that Black Dog isn’t getting more play. I mean, Swayze and Meat Loaf? That’s pair of headliners that could melt marquees!

If you, like me, feel that the current standings do not adequately reflect the depth and range of Swayze’s capabilities, I encourage you to vote so that when the time comes, and it will, Barrelhouse can go to AFI and SAG with our heads held high and demand on empirical evidence the greatness of the Swayz’ be recognized.

3 comments:

dave said...

Two words: Road House. Let's go, America.

Do the words "Famous zen bouncer who carries his medical records around in his trunk and screws Doctor Kelly Lynch" not mean anything to you people?

That's FAMOUS zen bouncer. And DOCTOR Kelly Lynch.

Think about those two things. Now come on, is there any doubt that Roadhouse is, in fact, the Greatest Patrick Swayze Movie of All Time?

Let me call your attention to an impartial judge, GQ, which recognized Roadhouse as, in fact, the Best Bad Movie of All Time. Of course, Patrick's greatest competition was himself, as Roadhouse beat our Point Break (#17) and Red Dawn (#5). Where Black Dog was in anybody's guess.

Becky said...

No, no, no. You have it all wrong. The ultimate Swayze movie is, of coure, Skatetown U.S.A. I had the privilege of watching this gem on the big screen a year or so ago and life hasn't been the same since. He's in sparkly purple spandex, people! And on rollerskates! Throw in Scott Baio with a serious crush on his best (male) friend and Horshack from Welcome Back, Kotter as the heavy and well, it doesn't get any better than that.

aaron said...

That's a great link, Dave, and it brought to mind a movie I saw when I was maybe 8; I think it was the first movie I saw with cussing in it, but in any case it is indelibly etched in my mind. But as far as bad movies go, this one is a doozy. Called "The Last Chase", it stars Lee Majors in the not so distant, but of course dystopian future. California is a utopia and apparently a separate nation, while the rest of the U.S. is ruled by evil men who have banned cars. Lee Majors, former race car driver, wants out, and he breaks his smooth ride out of mothballs and takes off for Cali. On the way he picks up a boy played by Chris Makepeace of "My Bodyguard" and "Meatballs" fame, and he is chased around by Burgess Meredith, apparently the only living pilot flying the only flyable jet, a Korean War-era
F-86. I guess all modes of transportation have been banned. The action periodically cuts to the evil men sitting in a dark room somehow watching everything go down and pounding the tables in frustration. Will Lee Majors make it to Calitopia, or will it end with Burgess grinning maniacally, chomping on a cigar and muttering to himself, "Majahs, your a tomatah" while pouring hot lead up the car's exhaust? Find it on DVD or VHS and find out. I know I will.