It's Alive!!!!

If you’re the type of person who notices things, you may have noticed that Barrelhouse Issue Two is finally available . The theme of the issue is “better late than never,” or “good things come to those who wait,” or “holy shit those guys at Barrelhouse sure are taking their sweet-ass time with this thing.”

We apologize for the delay. But mounting a sequel to Barrelhouse Issue One presented a daunting challenge. How do you improve upon greatness? After all, nearly universal praise had been heaped at the feet of Issue One: glowing reviews from the likes of National Public Radio (“the greatest addition to the literary canon since Beowulf”), Thomas Pynchon (“I’ll come out of hiding for only two things: a Simpsons guest spot or to pick up the newest issue of Barrelhouse”) and Bill O’Reilly (“It’s like The O’Reilly Factor For Kids, but for adults!”).

There were ticker-tape parades in our home towns, meetings with foreign dignitaries, lunches with the literati, pajama parties at the Playboy Mansion (private memo to P. Shore: Stop calling us!). And the booze. Oh, the booze.

It was Dave who finally got things back on track. “Listen,” he said one morning, pulling himself out of a hotel bathtub filled with champagne-soaked hundred dollar bills. “We used to be about the music.”

Aaron quickly reminded Dave that we were a literary journal, not a band.

“Whatever,” Dave said. “You’ve been trying to undermine me from the beginning. And you know what? Your looks are becoming a problem!”

Eventually, Joe pried the two apart and then, as “The Love Theme from St. Elmo’s Fire” rose to a crescendo – or maybe it was “The Way We Were” – all three Barrelhousers remembered what it was that made the original project so great: love.

Not that kind of love, sicky. The kind of non-sexual love that exists between men who respect and rely on each other. Like Luke Skywalker and Han Solo. Or Batman and Robin. Or Siegfried and Roy.

Quickly, calls were placed. To Mike, who was raising dairy cattle somewhere in the Midwest and contemplating a solo project. To Gwydion, who’d been locked in his house for weeks, ingesting large quantities of peyote and composing strange minimalist poetry with his new girlfriend, Katrinka, a former silver-medal gymnast from Belarus. To Anastasia, designer extraordinaire, who’d moved to the Caribbean and taken up snorkeling.

The team thus assembled, one question still remained: how to make a good sequel? One that was less The Next Karate Kid and more Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo. Writers were queried. An interview was set up. Pictures were taken. A cartoon was drawn. Many, many caffeinated beverages were consumed. Finally, a new issue began to take shape. The final result is something we’re pretty darned proud of. Stories about drug-addled basketball players and fried chicken and strange voodoo-like wooden heads. Essays about Barry Bonds and Godzilla and gas stations in the middle of nowhere. An interview with Ian McKaye, of Fugazi and Dischord Records fame. And a very special Patrick Swayze section.

How much would you expect to pay for such greatness? $200? $500? One million dollars?

Would you believe that all this can be yours for one easy payment of $9 (plus shipping)? We're crazy over here. But wait, there’s more … act now and we’ll throw in several poems and a comic story, “Sex and Pills,” absolutely free. That’s right … consider it our gift to you, loyal reader.

You can order the issue here and it will be shipped right to your door. You don’t even have to get out of your pajamas!