The Break-Up

I saw The Break-Up this weekend, and I'm happy to report that it did not totally suck. Actually, I found it quite entertaining, if a little uneven. Then again, I have a huge soft spot for Vince Vaughn, who I almost always find hilarious. I even like that movie Made, the Swingers follow-up that everyone else seems to agree was a stinking pile of garbage. (I stand by my belief that the movie is grossly underrated. Vince Vaughn's character is hilarious, and Screech Powers makes a cameo. What more do you people want?)

Actually, what I found most intriguing about The Break-Up was that it featured a bunch of actors who I haven't seen in a long time, and who look really, really different than how I remembered them. Like Cole Hauser, who seems to have dyed his hair less red or something, and Joey Lauren Adams, who is all grown-up and adult-looking now. Maybe this is just a sign that I've seen Dazed and Confused too many times and expect those people to never change. If Wiley Wiggins ever makes another movie, and I see it, my head will probably explode.

But there were non-Dazed-and-Confused-related surprises, too. Like Vincent D'Onofrio. Maybe I just don't watch enough Law and Order, but man, when did he get so old? He looked and acted even crazier than usual, too, which for Vincent D'Onofrio is really saying something. Then there was the shapeshifting Jon Favreau, who was clearly in Fat Guy mode. Not quite the Soft Fat Guy of PCU or Rudy, more like Eating Eight Meals a Day and Bench Pressing But Not Ever Running or Even Walking Fat Guy.

I remember seeing a graphic one time that compared Robin Williams' various movies based on his facial hair. Apparently when he's sporting a beard it means "serious movie," and when he's clean shaven it means "comedy." Perhaps there's some similar Favreau Weight-o-Meter that could help predict the relative success or failure of a movie. We should get a couple grad students to look into this.

Speaking of which, it's summer. Where the hell's my intern? The laundry's piling up, and my feet aren't going to massage themselves.


dave said...

There's also the Burt Reynolds facial hair-o-meter, whereby if Burt is wearing a mustache, the movie will suck (Cannonball Run, etc. etc.), and if he is not, the movie will be okay (The Longest Yard).

Actually, that scale probably went out of existence in like 1976, and I'm realizing now that I probably read about it in some Playboy that I found in the woods behind my friend's house or something.

That said, I think this post is a perfectly suitable call for interns. Come on people, you heard what Mike said about his feet. Let's get those resumes in here.

TMC said...

I saw The Break Up last week and also found it to not totally suck. The fight scenes were actually kinda intense and made me feel awkward in the theater... and, oh yeah, it wasn't a formulaic pile of horseshit like most movies in that genre. Naturally, audiences don't like it at all because it's actually about real people and not 1 dimensional types.