Vroom, vroom, mofos!

You should all go out right now and see Cars.

I know you probably think I'm just being "clever" or "ironic," but I'm really not. Cars is completely awesome, for all of the following reasons:

• I laughed out loud, over and over again. Even at Larry the Cable Guy, who's usually just an annoying parody of a racist redneck. Who knew that the secret to Larry's comic genius would be serving up the jokes while masquerading as a cartoon towtruck? Of course it probably helped that the screenwriters wrote the actual jokes, so all Larry had to do was have a funny voice. Git 'er done!

• The animation is incredible. I know this will make me sound like an old person, but it really is amazing what the kids can do with the animation these days. At times, it did seem like the Pixar people were just showing off. Hey look, a waterfall for no good reason! But, man, it sure was cool looking.

• I'm not positive, but I think there was a veiled reference to Wedding Crashers. At one point, Bonnie Hunt's character, Sally Carerra (a Porsche) is driving away from Owen Wilson's character (racecar Lightning McQueen), and Wilson makes a crack about her tattoo that's reminiscent of the Wedding Crashers "might as well be a bullseye" comment. Or I could just be imagining this because I'm a pervert.

• For two hours, I forgot that I hated NASCAR.

• Tony Shalhoub does a really funny Italian voice, which reminded me of his character in Big Night, which is another totally awesome movie you should see, if you haven't.

• The central conflict of the movie is basically recycled from Doc Hollywood. Sure, they kinda stole it, but if you're gonna steal, might as well steal from the best, right?

• One way the movie is better than Doc Hollywood: the legal sentencing actually makes sense (who gets sentenced to work in a hospital after crashing into a fence?). One way the movie is worse than Doc Hollywood: no boobies.

• The NPR "Car Talk" guys get a guest spot.