It's the Sixteenth Minute that really gets you

K-Fed's kick-game may be ridiculous, as Dave pointed out last week, but apparently his money-game, rap-game, food-game and booze-game are not so hot. First, the rapper had to give away tickets for a recent show at Chicago's House of Blues.

Then, according to Page Six, Brit Brit cut off the poor guy's credit cards and cell phone.

Even worse, he's now stooped to grubbing for food:

He and his entourage of eight wannabe rappers showed up at downtown burlesque joint Corio for a comped dinner that would have cost him $1,200, a source tells us. An eyewitness at the next table reports, "He just kept ordering more and more food and then asked for it to be put in containers so he could take the food out to the clubs with him. Then he started putting napkins in the tops of the tequila and vodka bottles and stuck them under his coat trying to sneak the liquor out with him. It was really unbelievable to watch.

Please, people. Don't just sit by and do nothing. Donate now. For the cost of a bottle of Cristal a day, you can make sure Federline gets fed.


dave said...

Man, I love that guy. Stop what you're doing and run, don't walk, on over to http://www.kevinfederline.com.

Not only will you be treated to the worst "hip hop" "music" that you'll ever hear (imagine if Ice Cube was a white guy trying to pretend he was a black guy, and that he was absolutely terrible at rapping; then imagine he was rapping along to the lamest beats that had ever been assembled, like the stuff that got rejected for the Vanilla Ice album, or from MC Hammer's last album, or that somebody had kind of mixed together every Ice Cube song ever made, and then hit a button called "Lame-ize" and then those Ice Cube songs were immediately, incredibly lame. That's kind of what its like).

You'll also be treated to possibly the worst web site ever developed. Each time you click on something, you get this high-larious little flash movie of K-Douche dancing, and I think it's the same little pseudo-hip-hop "dance move" each time. There's a high crotch grab per foot movement ratio, I'll tell you that. But that's not the best part. The best part is after the "dance move" there's this wildly lame flash animation of K-Douche lifting off like a NASA rocket.

Seriously, get on over there. Like everything else K-Douche touches, this is pure comedy gold.

Mike said...

That web site is awesome. If VH1 ever starts doing a series of "I Love A Few Months Ago" specials -- and let's be honest, it's inevitable -- I hope that Federline and his little Tiny Website Dancer play a prominent role. I bet Michael Ian Black zings him good!