Apply Salesgenie.com Directly to Forehead...

I can't believe nobody is talking about the greatest Super Bowl ad ever: the one for Salesgenie.com last night. Before I go on, I should say that I'm not quite sure that this was a national ad, rather than a local ad that somehow snuck its way into the big game. But I'm pretty sure it was a real ad, and I'm also pretty sure I heard James Brown mention the "Salegenie.com" pre-game show, or something like that. In any case, not since Head On has there been an ad that was so, well, so unintentionally awesome as the Salegenie.com commercial last night.

In case you missed it, you can view it here (and this site does confirm that it wasn't some quaint and low-budget local commercial, but, in fact, a full blown Super Bowl Commercial).

The ad is either a brilliantly restrained satire of a terrible ad, or its the most terrible ad ever. Here's what happens:

  • Close up on hot chick
  • Cut to supposed-to-be-cool guy getting out of standard-issue midlife crisis red convertible
  • Hot Chick: "What's with your new sports car? Can I have a RIDE!?!" (bares her teeth and pronounces ride "Riiy-ed").
  • Supposed to be cool guy: "MAYBE!"
  • Supposed to be cool guy meets with harried (bald) co-worker, who says that he can't play golf today. He's too much of a bald, harried, loser who has no idea what salesgenie.com is.
  • Supposed to be cool guy is pulled into standard issue "board room" by someone who appears to be Dick Cheney with a bad gray hairpiece. Cheney says, and this I could not make up: "Hey Peirce, come here for a minute. You're doin' great! Want to come to my house for dinner tonight?"
  • Supposed to be cool guy: "ABSOLUTELY."
  • Tech looking guy comes into office of supposed to be cool guy. Says "how do you do it? You've sold over 3 million dollars this quarter already."
  • Now here's my favorite part. Supposed to be cool guy imparts this bit of wisdom: "Bobby, only fools work hard. I work smart. I use salesgenie.com." We see: a computer with what is supposed to be salesgenie.com onscreen, lists of names, the hot chick getting out of the midlife crisis sports car in front of some kind of tudor mansion.

See, losers? It's all so easy! Salesgenie.com can bring you sports cars, hot chicks, the respect of Dick Cheney, the respect of both the harried bald and tieless technology savvy, and finally, all of those things together, as your hot chick gets out of your sports car in front of what may be Dick Cheney's mansion.

Don't work hard. Work smart, people!


aaron said...

What a great call! That ad was awesome, though I did feel a growing sense of concern that, now that this guy had his workday all figured out, he would have trouble with his non-work day...to wit: How could he give the hot chick a ri-ee-ide AND have dinner with his boss...all in the same night?

Mike said...

The idea of "sales leads" is so Glengarry Glen Ross. If only Alec Baldwin could have made a cameo in that commercial.

And with apologies to Brosnan et al, is there a bigger assfuck name in the universe than Pierce? I mean that guy's just automatically a dick, right?

sarah said...

Yep, it's national. While watching here in the Hoosier Heartland, I kept expecting Jay-Z or David Spade to fall from the ceiling of the fake office, yell "Just playing," and then get to the real ad.

With all the beautiful, lovely Colts celebrating, I'd already forgotten about the salesgenie. Thanks for the reminder.
-Workin' smart in Indy

Sophie T. Mishap said...

I don't know about you all, but I feel a Taster's Choice/Shedspread-type saga coming on...