You Gotta Love Sports Illustrated

As Peter King transforms into a younger, uglier Larry King (Scroll down to item "10.i" here for the hilarity), the magazine is busy catering to a younger audience with a TV Blog, which is apparently being written by a 15 year old girl. On March 15, we read:

Let's get this out of the way up front: I adore Friday Night Lights. after my roundup of episodes 1-17 last week, some readers assumed otherwise. Oh, no. I admire its originality and willingness to stick to side plots -- Jason Street would simply go away in any other network show. I love that football action is secondary, but that football philosophy is everywhere. I respect that I can relate to the storylines, or at least try to...But it really pains me to not know what comes of Tyra and Tammi's new friendship. ...No, really.

Then, on March 23:

I don’t actually remember much more than one football-relevant scene -- it ended in a bad Dazed and Confused flashback. Plus, I’m over the Riggins-neighbor storyline. And the Street-tattoo artist storyline. And the Tyra-Tami Taylor storyline.

Oh, too many storylines now, making your pretty little head hurt? What, you don't care about Tami and Tyra any more? No, really? Did they tell everyone at school you were a lesbian? Meanwhile, on the sports side, we are privy to the following astute analysis from Don Banks on the NFL Draft:

Quinn wants to be a Brown, and as much as Cleveland needs a quarterback for the future, it's hard for me to imagine that they could hold the third pick and not come away with either of the top two passers or the best prospect in the draft (Johnson). If Browns owner Randy Lerner green lights a QB pick, general manager Phil Savage and coach Romeo Crennel shouldn't take a must-win-now approach.

It's hard to imagine, Don, because it's mathematically impossible. If Cleveland wants one of the top 3 prospects...at pick #3, it will get one of them.

Geez, where's USA Today when you need them?