Stuart Scott Sets New World Record for Unintentional Comedy in a Sports Broadcast

It would take something very special to bump the Barrelhouse Kicks Ass in Nonrequired Reading post, but I think this is it. Last night, ESPN's SportsCenter had a little feature called Poetry Jam, in which Stuart Scott came on and did his best hip urban beatnik poet sports fan impression, with some kind of wildly ill-conceived rap about the Boston Celtics.

I'm a fan of poetry, although I don't really understand it all that well. I'm also a fan of the Boston Celtics. I like SportsCenter way more than I'd like to admit, and when I'm off of work for a day, I've been known to watch three or four revolutions of the morning edition.

All that said, if you had asked me to suggest what could possibly improve ESPN's SportsCenter -- and even after the debacle of their summer "waiting for football season" stalling maneuver "Who's Now," which was just plain embarrassing, every single time they showed it, so much so that I found myself blushing, deeply ashamed for Mike Wilbon as he argued whether Danica Patrick was more "now" than Barry Bonds, and even as I'm typing "more now" I feel a deep little tic, like I've just said the most dirty word ever, out loud, then realized I'm talking to my mother...or something like that -- anyway, even given the profound embarrassment that is "Who's Now," I never would have imagined that a viable suggestion to improve SportsCenter would be: more slam poetry.

Seriously, this is funnier than I am, so here's the clip:



But here's the thing: Stu Scott is not the first sportscaster to break it down, rap/poetry style. That honor belongs to Cheers' Sam Malone:



My favorite part of the Scott piece is the end: "spoken word." He might as well have said "sexual chocolate" and let the mic drop onto the floor. I also like the faux stage, and the light clapping, like he's stepping up to drop some knowledge at the Gas Light Cafe in 1955.
Truth: slightly funnier than fiction.

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