2.22.2008

Babies ain't been named yet...

But J-lo done busted a couple of 'em out this morning, yo.

One boy. One girl.

C'mon. With the collective wisdom that is Barrelhouse--

Let's name 'em.

8 comments:

JP said...

I'm assuming "Affleck" and "Diddy" are too easy, so I'm going to think harder on this question and get back to you.

But--nice query! Good eye, Jilly, good eye.

jill alexander essbaum said...

See, I was thinking they could name the girl Left-Eye Lopez (sic) and the boy could be Gene Ray Anthony (er, that was Leroy. From Fame). Then they could each have one pop culture reference buried in their name. And then each parent gets a last name, of course.

But Diddy is good!

They're going to name them something dumb like LaLa and Guillermo. Guillermo is ok, though, actually. It's right up there with (sigh) Benicio.

Sean Preston Lopez-Anthony?
Jayden-James?

Nicole Ritchie named her baby Harlow. So maybe the thing to do is name babies after the last names of stars of the silver screen. Lombarde Lopez-Anthony? Tierney? Hepburn?

Gwenneth had her apple. Does Jenny from the block have a little Papaya? Guava? Starfruit?

How about Jesus and Maria?

jill alexander essbaum said...

Oh and here is a sampling from comments left by well-wishers and lookers-on (looker-ons?) underneath Yahoo OMG! Entertainment's announcement of J-Lo's birth-giving abilities. You can't make this stuff up. I love how people leave comments as if they're being read.

Er, kinda like us writing this blog...

---

"F**k J-Lo and Marc Anthony... worthless pieces of S**t - all so overrated :\ --------- BUT best of health to the babies... :)"

"marc & jennifer CONGRAULATIONS !!!!! and let me add that i comend you both for the way you handled your private life, with all the poparatzzi they are a breed that needs to kept at bay from all the personality PRIVATE LIVES !!! THEY CAN DO MORE HARM to so many people in the spot lite they must be made to BACK OFF !!!!!"

(as opposed to the full-calorie, non dietetic spot?)

"Yay I'm so happy for her! I'm a huge fan. Jenifer, did you still have profile on celebrity and millionaire dating site like wealthy mingle. c om"

"OmG............d@t iz so0o0o0o0 B3@utifull ......ii w0nd3r w@t d3y l0ok l!k3?"

"Jennifer, You are absolutely beautiful and coming from a mom with boy/girl twins, you are blessed. My twins are well worth it. God bless you and your family. "

"Wishing you and the babies good luck,especially the boy. I hope there will be no paparazzi as they do with Angelie in Namibia."

(Namibia sounds like a type of south Asian VD... something you picked up in 'Nam.)

"I love jlo very much, im very happy for her, she's now a proud mama of the twins. wish both of them good health and i hope your sexy body remains the same just like before. God bless! congratzz!!"

(congratzz?)

"Who gives a %@!*# about this celeb whore and her cracked out looking cheating husband. She should be ashamed for going after a married man and both lying about it (just friends). I don't care if she reads this or anything at all. People write to voice their opinions and mine is %@!*# Jennifer ho from the block."

(no, really, tell us what you think...)

"Two lovely kids , for two great persons , I envy you !!!! , just kitting CONGRATULATIONS !!!"

(ha, ha, I'm just kitting too!)

"Congratultions Jennifer and Marc Anthony!!!! Enjoy the motherhood life!"

"congs my dear j-lo though marc is not fit for u, the guy is so worked out n too old 4 u. for sure j-lo u deserve 2 have a handsome man. u have really spoilt ur beauty but any congs. am abig fan though am sorry i hate ur man"

"Yay I'm so happy for her! I'm a huge fan. Jenifer, did you still have profile on celebrity and millionaire dating site like wealthy mingle. c om" ***

"Congrats!!!! I wish you the beest of luck!"

(I'll never be your beest of burden, baby.)

"Congratulations on the birth of your twins, you got the best of both"

"Congrats to you and your family. May Almighty God protection, blessing and favour be upon you and family. (Amen)"

"you guys all suck."

--

***this or a version of this message appears in every OMG! comment posting multiple times...

aaron said...

I gotta say, Marc Anthony must be good for J-Lo because I haven't heard hide nor hair of her of late until this blessed event. No bad albums, no crappy fragrances, bad movies, etc. And to think that based on Out of Sight and Blood & Wine I was really digging her as an actress for a while (though it was comical in Blood & Wine the lengths the camera would go to avoid her ass).

Oh, a name...babies need a name:

Bailar a la Bamba Lopez (girl)
John Leguizamo Lopez (boy)

Mike said...

Star Anise

or something with a @ in it. You know, internet age and all.

JP said...

I was going to say "Rice" and "Beans," only to realize that's it isn't funny, just racist.

Oh well.

They could just name the girl Lopez Anthony and the boy Anthony Lopez Anthony. Or just Anthony Anthony. Because it's dumb. And because they love themselves a lot.

LaLa is weird. Considering Lopez Anthony is "LA," too. Interesting. She'd be La La L.A.

Instead, they could just name the girl Salma Hayak Anthony and the boy Oops I'm Pockmarked Like My Dad Anthony.

Wow. I'm not very funny today, am I?

Kangsta! said...

With their caliber of parentage, they're bound to be shining stars, so I propose "Puerta" for the girl, and "Rico" for the boy - which translate to english as "door" and "rich"

Mel Sue said...

Hmmm, what about Cleopatra and Octavia? Then they could look like they were cultured, ya' know? Like they knew Marc Anthony was a historical name and all that.

Cleopatra Lopez, then is she had 'the gift' she'd be all set - miss Cleo Lopez, just get her a 900 number and a late night time slot.

Octavia Anthony? Yeah, he could wear the number 8 all blinged out on a honking big chain. Or wear it on it's side, like an infinity sign, cuz his celebrity status would never end - Octavia forever!