2.22.2008

Knight Rider, Well, It Sucks

Looks like Fox won the 80s Resurrection Award over NBC, because Terminator is much better than Knight Rider.

What are the show's issues? Where to begin?

First, let's highlight the fact that this 2 hour movie premiere was an extended infomercial for Ford. The commercials featured an extended, I guess they would call it "riff" on KITT's jealousy over Michael's date. When Val Kilmer is jealous of your date, BEWARE!! Especially if she drives a Ford Focus.

Second, there was no character development. The main character is this Michael fellow, who only comes into the show 1hr 15min in. Previous to that KITT's inventor and his daughter were the main focus. Michael is literally along for the ride, and remains a cypher throughout the film, until David Hasselhoff shows up in the last 5 mintues to tell him it is his destiny to drive KITT, on account of something or other. (Oh, first assignment: Czech Republic! Where KITT will be the only Ford Mustang around!)

Third, the chase scenes suffer from either complete obvious-ness or an extremely odd lack of urgency. Michael and the daughter drive KITT to a rural motel, where the scientist and Michael's mother are holed up. The bad guys are already there, so they exercise due caution by parking KITT behind a scraggly pine tree 50 feet away, safely unseen from anyone who is not looking in that direction.

Meanwhile, the 4 killers surround the hotel room of choice with automatic weapons. Michael tries to sneak around. Cut to inside the hotel room--Michael's mom cocks her six gun, the knob starts to twist, cut to the killers turning the knob, cut to Michael walking aimlessly, cut to inside tension, outside knob twisting, inside knob twisting, CUT to 8 minute commercial, Killers, knob, Michael, etc. and then the door opens, Michael's mom puts a bullet where the head should be, and Michael pops into the room while the killers bust into an empty room. Totally tense and exciting if you've never seen Silence of the Lambs or 100 other action movies or shows.

Well, they make good their mistake, miraculously, and run the 50 feet to KITT and...just stand around. I guess maybe it occurred to them that KITT was a 2 seater and there's 4 of them. But then an FBI agent shows up, in an SUV! Yeah, they have enough room to escape, but instead, they just...stand around and shoot the shit until the killers exercise their oracular cavities and notice them.

4 comments:

JP said...

Honestly, Aaron, after reading your description I can't believe you even kept watching long enough to get to the end.

Your new nickname is going to have to be Double A. Not just for first two letters of your name (why ARE there two As, anyway?) but because--at least when it comes to tv watching--you keep going, and going, and going....

TMC said...

I prefer Knight Boat anyway

aaron said...

in troof, I only caught the 2nd hour.

Mel Sue said...

I confess, I watched the whole two hour commercial. I was strangely obsessed with the chick's neck birthmark. I loved/hated it and couldn't take my eyes off of it.

Also, I had recently wasted time watching Cashmere Mafia with the asian dude playing a mild mannered (read boring) surgeon and I loved his daredevil driving evil twin.

Finally- I love Val Kilmer's voice. I wanted him to break out of character and tell Mike to get over himself, or tell the chick to get the stick out her ass. But instead he just stuck to his lines and behaved in his monotone voice.

If the show becomes a series, I'm afraid I may find myself watching it again. Somethings are inevitable.