*That silly man and his silly cookies...

Aaron has posted his enjoyment of The Wire-- a show which I haven't seen (haven't gotten around to stealing--er, I mean bittorrenting-- it yet and it ain't on the air here in Switzerland). But today I am enjoying the fruit of David Simon's earlier labors, Homicide: Life on the Street.

Some thoughts.

I like this show a lot. It's smart, it's bleak, it's more than occasionally funny. And it's got Yaphet Kotto (who is, I believe, is the son of a Cameroon prince or something wild like that as well as being an observant Jew which is kinda cool just on its own). Ned Beatty, too. And Richard Belzer. It's an impeccable ensemble (well, until you get to the Jon Seda and Michael Michele years which, admittedly, suck ass).

Fantasy: I want to be the meat in a Kyle Secor as Tim Bayliss and Clark Johnson (tee hee, I said "Johnson") as Meldrick Lewis sandwich. Or maybe just the butter on Tim Bayliss' bread.

It's not a particularly sexy show. I'm quite afraid that me blogging here is betraying all my inclinations and kinks. I DO think John Munch is hot in a sarcastic "my face got weed whacked" way.  I totally WOULD get down with Stanley "Big Man" Bolander, old and squeal-like-a-piggy-in-Deliverance as he is.

Um, is that wrong?

I would do Yaphet Kotto as well.

THAT is indubitably wrong.

Really, up until the very last season, it was all good. Very, very good. Andre Braugher as the unswerving Frank Pembleton.  Hot damn.  He could work a suspect over in The Box like no one else.  Max Perlich as JH Brodie, the little scruffy wannabe-documentarian.  Did you know that in real life Daniel Baldwin (er, when he's not on Celebrity Fit Club or dodging rehab) and Isabel Hoffman (Beau Felton and Meghan Russert, respectively) are together?  

The post begins with a photo of me (yes, that's me before I evolved into the hot-as-homicide-itself uber-babe you all know and wet dream of) in front of the Homicide building on the Waterfront in Baltimore.

Now THAT's fandom.


* The title is a quote from the 3rd season episode "Crosetti."  Bayliss says it when he and Frank go to buy the special and expensive cookies that were Steve Crosetti's favorite.  For his funeral.


JP said...

You know, I've never seen the show, but along the lines of police shows with hot guys in them, can I just ask: is anyone in the world hotter than Vincent D'Onofrio?

I mean, listen, I'm not a Law and Order fan at all, but since I should be grading papers and I hate grading papers, I've developed a sudden fascination with the Criminal Intent marathon rocking daytime television even as I type this.

Thus, I've been served a tall glass of D'Onofrio...and lord do I hope I get free refills.

jill alexander essbaum said...

Law and Order did a few crossover episodes with HLOTS. You wouldn't find any of these guys hot, Jess. I know you. And you know me. So... yeah. But the stories and their telling. It has a "real" feel to it (which I gather The Wire does an even better job of evoking).

dave said...

You guys have to watch The Wire. I can't speak to the issue of the hot men, but it's the best fucking show ever, possibly even better than Bret Michaels Rock of Love.

Jill, are you a big enough geek that you've read the original book, Homicide, by David Simon? That the his next book, The Corner, are pretty much the source material for both TV shows (Homicide and The Wire). The brilliant thing, or among the brilliant things about the Wire is that is brings together both worlds -- the cops and the corner boys, and does it without moralizing about either one (at least, not too much).

jill alexander essbaum said...

Dave, I AM a big enough geek that I've read the book. You know me well enough to know that! Tscha!

Doing a search on The Wire as soon as I post.

Homicide was limited, of course, because it was a network show. It couldn't get as gritty as I think Barry Levinson wanted it to. Or Tom Fontana. Or whoever.

Mike said...

I thought this post was going to be about a creepy old man luring you into his van.

jill alexander essbaum said...

Tscha! I THOUGHT that was you rolling past my house....

Funny thing about old men and vehicles, the man who drives the no. 748 bus (von Hofweisen Dietlikon bis Dubendorf Bahnhof) looks EXACTLY like Aaron. That is, Aaron in 30 years. Mustache and all. I'll try and snap a picture of him at some point but the thing is, he seems to fancy me a little and I don't want to make him feel like I'm mocking him. He's one of two people in all of Switzerland who seem to like me-- both older men, both public servants. The other guy is one of our mailmen.

Anonymous said...

Jill, depending on the results of that picture, I may never speak to you again. Tscha! (is that Swiss for "Pshah?")

If Dave and I were to have a "Wire Love-Off", I think he would win.

TMC said...


from what I understand, the ladies love Stringer Bell.

And McNulty. Maybe not so much this season, though.

jill alexander essbaum said...

Oh, Aaron my sweet, there's no need to worry. You're MUCH more handsome and -- even better-- you ain't Swiss.

JP said...

PS- I stopped watching The Wire after the first season...not because it wasn't good, but because life intervened. But I can say that, yes, without any sort of qualifiers: McNulty = Hotness.

Then again, that thug guy from the first season who turned informant and was gay? He was fucking ridiculously sexy. I'm telling you: men like that form the improbable ven diagram where I cross tastes with VH 1s own Miss New York. Mmmm.