Jesus Christ is, in fact, a superstar, but He would thank you not to mention it

So, the scuttlebut this week is that tattooed Irishwoman Carly Smithson was voted off American Idol largely because her choice of "Jesus Christ, Superstar" pissed off too many Christian voters.

Also, she ripped up a picture of the Pope onstage, then hopped on a broom and soared out over the audience, cackling all along.


JP said...

Sucks, sucks, sucks. I loved Carly Smithson and her ridiculous United Kingdom teeth.

Now I have to root for fucking David Cooke and his huge fivehead, just because he's a word-nerd-crossword-geek like me. I hate it.

Mel Sue said...

Isn't it inevitable that a David will win, one way or the other?

JP said...

Yes. But you can't just substitute one David for another willy-nilly!

One snivels! The other preens! One's annoyingly humble, the other delightfully self-absorbed! (Which is how we like our rock stars, damn it.) One is clearly gay but too young to know it, the other is clearly struggling to get women even though he's on American Idol! (Also how we like our rock stars. If by we you mean me.)

Anyway: one makes perfectly good modern opera into terrible eighties R&B! The other makes eighties R&B into "molten hot lava bombs!"

It's a plethora of trials, tribulations, joys and dramas up in here! We must be specific. We must be dedicated. We must choose a David and stick to him like Simon's clingy tee-shirts stick to his woman-nips!

(However, as we all know, a David by any other name decidedly does NOT smell as sweet. Especially if that name is Kristy Lee Cook. Thank god that annoying talentless vacuum of a girl is off the show. "God Bless the USA?" Seriously? Not if you're in it, Kristy Lee. I'm defecting.)

Mel Sue said...

I like that soap box, JP. Where can I get me one of them? Do they sell them at the barrelhouse giftshop?

JP said...

totally! we hand-make them, actually. along with barrels. and houses!

nah, i'm just messing with you. but it is fun to wax all rhapsodic about idol, isn't it? i love getting into debates about that show.