5.29.2008

Sex and the Overhyped Stupid Movie About Women's Shoes

Women, tell me you're smarter than this. Tell me you're not lining up with your "girlfriends" in your Jimmy Choos or Manolos with your thermos full of cosmos and going to see this unbelievably overhyped piece of crap. Tell me you're smarter than that, that you won't go in droves to see a movie about a TV show that was okay for awhile and then withered on the life support vine for it's last two or three seasons.

When was the last time a movie was this hyped? The Jerry Seinfeld cartoon movie, maybe? I was sick of that about a month before it came out. Snakes on a Plane, which I was sick of about a week before it came out? I've been sick of Sex and the City for about two months now. Thank god it's finally out. Now, like Speed Racer and King Kong and the lousy bee movie and every other overhyped lousy movie before it, it can finally go away.

Yes, we'll have to sit through all these women on every single talk show for the next few days. Yes we have to sit though commercials about the product placement in the movie, through lukewarm reviews about the "experience" of the movie rather than the movie itself. But still, now that it is finally out, it can finally end. Soon. Hopefully.

Whew.

Let's face it: this movie is going to be terrible. But it's still going to make gobs of money. It will get lukewarm reviews that concentrate primarily on the clothes and shoes. In a way, this movie is impervious to criticism -- it's like a Harry Potter movie, or a Wiggles movie. A billion people are going to go see it whether it's crap or not. The best we can hope for is a quick end to the hype, so we can all get back to concentrating on Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt.

6 comments:

Mike said...

I saw the preview for this thing last time I was in the theater, and it's just so obviously a terrible idea. Well, a terrible idea from an artistic standpoint. I guess it's a great idea from a whoring-yourself-for-tons-and-tons-of-cash standpoint.

Also, I like Kim Catrall and Sarah Jessica Parker just fine, but I don't want to see either of them in larger-than-life digital projection. Yikes. I imagine it will be like seeing Vince Vaughn in one of those movies where he looks constantly puffy and hungover.

Also, TMC will have to see this movie, which makes me laugh.

TMC said...

Maybe I can post a review of it for all you fellas after I see it.

I could probably just compile a list of all the jokes that elicited hysterical laughter even though they weren't remotely funny.

aaron said...

Sex and the City is to chicks as Rocky Balboa is to dudes.

Mike said...

Aaron Pease, you shut your blasphemous mouth!

JP said...

Guilty.

JP said...
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