The Olds Are Bitter, But They Are Not So Good With the Jokes

I've been keeping an eye on HCSFJM, which as everyone knows is the acronym for the group "Hillary Clinton Sycophants Fisting John McCain." Among the many wonders of their site, as noted last week, is the "jokes" page (scare quotes totally intentional, and necessary). Here's the latest, which, aside from making no sense, seems to be either written in some kind of Old Person dialect I don't understand, or was translated from Russian via Babelfish:

An Obama supporter who was on the fringes of good died and was met at the gates of Heaven by St. Peter. “As is our custom, you will spend one day in Hell and one day in Heaven then choose where you will spend eternity.”  

The newly deceased breathed a sigh of relief and answered, “I can tell you right now that I am honored to be good enough for Heaven and that is my choice.”

St. Peter shook his head in the negative and replied, “Rules are rules. Prepare for your 24 hours in Hell.”

An elevator appeared and whisked the deceased downward, then with a thud, the doors opened and he looked out upon a massive gold structure with opened gates, and there were Obama signs and supporters everywhere without one McCain anywhere. They all welcomed him and had a feast, lots of kool-aid spiked wine, and they had every wish granted instantly.
After 24 hours, the elevator appeared and he deceased waved to his friends and was whisked away upward to Heaven. There was instant calm and peace as people greeted him with a quiet nod and went about their business. For 24 hours, he heard soft music and laughter, and noticed that everyone seemed to have a job to do, a purpose to fulfill.

St. Peter appeared and said: “Well, what is your choice?” he asked. The Obama supporter smiled broadly and replied: “I appreciate quiet of Heaven, but I think I’m more suited to the good times to be had in Hell, so that’s my decision," he replied.

St. Peter nodded and the elevator appeared. When he reached Hell and the doors opened, the Obama supporter heard screams of horror and despair, saw his friends running from strange foreign animals who chased them with torches to set them on fire. The devil put a hand on his shoulder and said in a booming voice, “Welcome”.

What happened? Yesterday, there was a country club here and the people were having a big party.” the Obama supporter cried.

The devil glared at him, “Well, yesterday we were running for office. Today, we were elected."

1 comment:

Mike said...

Addendum: via Wonkette, apparently the site's founder is planning to take his message to the Olds who don't read the Interwebs, by advertising in "Thrifty Nickels" all around the country. I'm not sure what a Thrifty Nickel is; maybe back in Nineteen Dickety Three this was the bastard brother of the Pennysaver? Whatever, it's still funny.