Your New Fall Season

These probably won't be the new shows you'll see this fall, but they damn well should be.

Popularity Contest: Several strangers live in a house, like The Real World, or Paradise Hotel, only there are no challenges, or jobs, or, for that matter, anything else. They can do whatever the hell they want, but each week, one of them gets the boot, based only on viewer voting. Unlike American Idol, there are no judges telling America how to vote, there are no guidelines for voting, people just vote for whoever they want sent home. The winner gets to be Obama's vice president. 

Wife Swap, Extreme Edition: Basically, the same premise as the original, only with more fucking.

If I Did It: A miniseries based on the popular and purely fictional bestseller, starring O.J. Simpson as himself, Alyssa Milano as Nicole Brown Simpson, Rob Schneider as Ron Goldman, and Fred Goldman as Guy Who Comes From Offstage Every Now and Again and Punches O.J. Simpson In The Face.

Big Fat Idiot Wife: A sitcom in which a thin, well-groomed, successful man is married to an overweight, slovenly, underemployed woman who likes to scratch herself and smell her own farts. Hilarious! 

Race War: Finally, we answer the age-old question -- which race truly is the best? Watch as blacks go up against whites in spelling and marksmanship, as Jews compete with Arabs in relay races, as Asians battle-dance against other kinds of Asians.

Man vs. Beast, Extreme Edition: Basically, the same premise as the original, only with more fucking.

1 comment:

JP said...

Deadliest Catch meets The Pickup Artist. Contestants must pick up potential dates on the high seas during storm season. Perhaps, in this scenario, the dates might not be chicks, exactly, but that's okay. Acceptable "negs" will include locking targets up in huge crab cages, dumping them on the deck and sorting through them for "keeper" or "throwback" value.