Yes, Virginia, Garden State Does Suck

Not like I, you know, care what other people think, because I'm my own man and people just tease me all the time because they are jealous of how awesome my mom says I am, but I got a little discouraged when no one agreed with me that the movie named after a crappy state that does not let you pump your own gas really stunk it up.

Leave aside any jealousness at the meteoric talent that is Zach Braff, or his squiring Mandy Moore about town as one professional helping another professional, because he knows what it's like to be lonely in a new city. From the first time I saw the trailer I knew exactly what that movie would be about, and when I did, all my suspicions were confirmed. Cloying, cliched, and dramatically as incoherent as its protagonist. (Great soundtrack, though!)

Finally, though, some confirmation that I wasn't all wet. Via Defamer, I give you Zach Braff’s 10 Easy Tips for Writing Films About Twenty-Somethings®


Dan said...

Say what you will about Zach Braff, but leave Jersey out of it.

We don't let you pump your gas to protect our fragile state economy with a legion of low income jobs. Plus it makes us feel important—like having your very own gas-butler.

aaron said...

Sure beats having a butt-gasser!

dave said...

I liked Garden State the first time around, when it was called "Beautiful Girls" and the disaffected, downward glancing, black wearing protagonist was played by Timothy Hutton, and his buddies were blue collar knuckleheads like Matt Dillon and Michael Rappaport and Max Perlich (what ever happened to that guy anyway?), and the towering goddess role was played by Uma Thurman at the height of her towering blond goddessness, and the perky, pithy, fount of pseudo new age advice was played by...well...that was Natalie Portman, too. Except she was like 13, which was a little creepy. And when she said, "I'm gonna be hot," you kind of squirmed in your seat because you knew it was true. Which leads me back to Garden State, because I think one of the reasons this movie was so popular is that it basically presented the 13 year old Natalie Portman character from Beautiful Girls as fully grown, hot yet still perky and pithy and oddball character. Timothy Hutton, you should have waited for her, man.

TMC said...

the low gas prices and other people pumping my gas might be the best aspects of living in this damned state.

Oh, and the house that my fiancee bought, and lets me live in.

TMC said...

what the hell, man. You linked to a blog whose comments include this gem:

"I’m totally lollerblading !!1"

What the fuck is that?
I'm disappointed in everyone.
If I don't come back, it means I've gone on a killing spree.