A Conversation that May Have Taken Place between Sufjan Stevens’ Bass Player and His Wife the Evening after His Audition

An aprtment in Brooklyn. Early evening. Bass player sits at a table, looking into space. Wife enters.

Wife: Hey!

BP: (Blankly) Hey.

Wife: Well? How’d it go?

BP: It went, you know, alright.

Wife: Just alright?

BP: No, I mean it went good. Well. Really well, you know?

Wife: Do you think you got it?

BP: I do. I mean I did. I got it. I know I did. He told me.

Wife: He did!?!

BP: Yeah, he hired me on the spot.

Wife: So what’s wrong?

BP: Nothing.

Slight pause as BP wistfully looks out his apartment window.

Wife: No, seriously. What’s up? You’re usually jazzed when you get a spot. He’s not an asshole, is he? Like Bright Eyes?

BP: No, no. He’s nice. Totally nice. Unfailingly polite, really. It’s just that…

Wife: What?

BP: There’s a costume requirement.

Wife: A costume requirement?

BP: Yeah.

Wife: What is it?

BP: I have to wear butterfly wings.

Wife: Bufferfly wings?

BP: Yeah.

Wife: You mean, like, on your lapel? Like an AIDS ribbon?

BP: No, I mean like actual butterfly wings. Real wings. Wire and cloth. On my back.

Wife: On your back?

BP: At every show.

Wife: Why?

BP: I’m really not sure.

Wife: You didn’t ask?

BP: It was an audition. I didn’t want to seem like an asshole or like have him say something like, “You know if you don’t understand why I’m asking you to wear butterfly wings I don’t see how you can be in this band.” We need the money.

Wife: Well, it’s not that big of a deal. I guess. You wore that weird leather outfit when you played back-up for Placebo even though it made your chest look like a shriveled testicle.

BP: Yeah, but, at least I was in the background with them. They kept me in the dark. For this I’m going to be right out front. Playing bass. Wearing butterfly wings.

Wife: Yep.

BP: Yep.

Slight pause.

BP: It is weird, right? I mean I’m not just being a hipster douche bag, am I?

Wife: Oh, no. It’s weird.

BP: Okay. I just wanted to make sure.