There IS a God!!

In this age of rampant skepticism and hatred of all things religious, I submit to you that I have SEEN the LIGHT. I am a NEW man. I am SANCTIFIED, for this here is a religion I can go down on...I mean get down with:

State attorneys say John LaVoie should be forever barred from the massage business because he ran a house of prostitution camouflaged as a church.

But in his latest court argument, the Tucson man says he hired women at Angel's Heaven Relaxation Spa — near University Medical Center — not to sell sex but to comfort the afflicted through the religious act of "laying on of hands."

To fight that, LaVoie is now citing constitutional guarantees of freedom of religion.

"This offer of comfort by this means is based on several Biblical passages," wrote attorney Brad Roach, who is representing LaVoie while seeking election as Pima County attorney.

LaVoie, who testified he is the pastor of the Church of Liberty, "has every right under the First Amendment to freely exercise his religion, which religion includes offering comfort through the laying on of hands," Roach wrote in an objection to the proposed order of forfeiture.

LaVoie, translated into French, means "the track" or, I think we can interpolate, "The Way." Truly, he must be the Messiah! But who are the Angels that serve him?

The Angel's Heaven Web site displayed portraits of young women over trademarked names.

"Oriental Angel" described as 5-foot-2 with dark brown hair and hazel eyes, invited visitors to discover "Far East delight."

Brown-eyed "Passion Angel" peered out over this message: "Come to Angel's Heaven now and be touched by an angel willing to take you to heaven and back."

In 2004 police raided Angel's Heaven but charged LaVoie only with running a massage business without a license. That charge was later dismissed.

For too long, the right hand of religion blinded me from the truth. Now I have discovered the happy ending that is Heaven, and I no longer fear a little death, indeed I pray now for a full release from life! Praise Jeebus!

(Hat Tip: Hit n' Run.)